Day 24-The fight

Those who had their doubts......almost 22 years together!

Day 24-Wen. Oct 13, 2010

Had my interview this morning and I guess I passed cause tomorrow I get to do it all over again with the person who would actually be my boss.  So proud of myself....I got a green tea at Starbucks today instead of my usual cappuccino.  I am so not who I used to be.  The rest of the day went into the crapper though.  Ram and I had our once every six weeks airing of grievances.  Not fun.  Totally threw me out of whack.  Didn't feel like doing yoga or meditating.  I blame it on nutrient deficiencies from only eating fruit for three days.....Ram say it is being a woman.  We must be making progress though cause Ram was actually talking to me by bedtime.  Still infatuated with yoga.  Could someone please open a hot yoga studio in Spring  and not Bikram.......I like clothing.

Day 23-Balance

My daughter doing a tree pose at my mother's yoga studio.

Day 23-Tuesday Oct. 12, 2010

Food, glorious food!  Yes at 12:01am I have a delicious slice of cheese.  I think I missed the texture of food the most.  I followed the cheese up with some oatmeal....comfort food I guess.  I did feel pretty proud of lasting the full three days and for a split second thought about continuing the fruit fast a few more days then sanity kicked in.  I lost another pound which brought my total weight loss to 12 pounds and was very excited.  Missed class this morning due to an inservice I had to stay for....why I stayed I don't know because I fell asleep during it.  I just pray I didn't snore.  Decided I needed to stay home today and tonight to spend some time with the family.  I was going to be gone the next two nights.  That night Ram and I did yoga via podcast in the "zen den"  aka his office.  It was a great workout.  Actually did my side plank finally and even hopped back to high plank.  I guess I wasn't afraid to try it since I didn't have a room full of proficient yogis watching.  Told my mom about and she told me to quit being so performance driven!  Side note.....got a call to come interview for a brand new hospital the was opening down the street in a little over a month.

Day 22-Rewards

Tea is saving me from fruit intoxication!

Day 22-Monday, Oct. 11, 2010

Awoke this morning feeling so much better and my mood was great because I knew in less than 18 hours I was gonna be eating again.  GLORIOUS DAY!!!!  Got on the scale and was rewarded with the numbers.....I am now down 11lbs since starting this journey.  Also found out I could have vegetable broth....a God-send!  I am not a sweet tooth kinda person......I love salty things.  My hubby threatens occasionally to buy me a salt lick.  I decided since I didn't take my rest day last week I would do that today.  However by mid-afternoon I was feeling weak in the food restraint department so I went for a relaxing two mile run.  Got my meditation done, napped, and then headed out to work.  Actually thought about continuing on the fruit fast since I felt so good......but rethought it at midnight.  I definitely think the fast was a good thing......but not too pleasant the first two days.  Must have needed some serious detox.

Day 21-Fatigue

My sad dinner.

Sunday-October 10th-Day 21

Woke up with the same headache I went to sleep with, but it wasn't as severe.  Okay only 48 hours left.  I can do anything for 48 hours.  Now reconsidering why I thought going on Survivor would be fun.  Was feeling slightly better, but bananas were becoming repulsive to me.  Church and the mind numbing vortex of my kids activities keep me busy enough to not be tempted to defruitify myself.  Talked Ram into making a second trip to the yoga studio for a Sunday evening 90 minute class.  Any thing I could do to keep me away from the tomato basil Wheat thins was a good thing.  Felt so much better after I sweated out my toxins.  As we entered the studio, the class before us had just gotten out and the room was nice and "juicy" already complete with weird sweat funk smell.  Mental note......if I open a sweaty yoga studio must invest in Febreze or incense.  My mat was coated in white sweat salt and so when I got home I took a shower with my mat.  Brilliant idea Ram!!!!!!

AWWW....our clean mats!

Went to bed feeling much better!!!!!!

Day 20-Half Way

The view of downtown on the way to the yoga studio early this morning.

Day 20-October 9th, 2010

Those of you who had your doubts.......Today marks the half way point.....Woot!  So what better way to celebrate than to eat up at 6am on a Saturday and truck me and Ram's happy butts down to the yoga studio for a power hour class.  I used to get up an do insane marathon training on Saturdays but my long runs have now been replaced by a room full of bend pretzely people omming and sweating like nobodies business.  Had a good class.  Also today I began my 3 day fruit body cleansing fast.  Yipee.  By dinner time I was so ready to eat my own child Ram thought I was best to take the kids out to eat.  That way I was no tempted to eat other delicious mouth watering food items or my own offspring.  Also he probably wanted to get away from me and my caffeine withdrawal headache too.  I actually made it through the grocery store without one food sample.  Suddenly the fruit section seemed so much smaller when I was looking at it only that for 3 days.  While the fam was out stuffing themselves with awful unhealthy food items I decided I would go for a run....hoping that would kill my headache and also keep me away from the food with the food Nazi (aka Ram) was gone. Run was okay, but still felt like crapola.  Decided to just sleep it off and went to bed at 9pm after meditating.  Keep thinking of how sick of fruit I was during meditation.  Not a stellar day.

Day 19-Confessions

Made it 19 days....come to mama!

Day 19-Friday, October 8,2010

As I left work and after being up all night I debated if I should go home and become comatose or go to the studio and get my class in.  Strangely enough yoga won out over sleep again.  Got to the studio about 45 minutes before they were open.....bizarre Houston traffic today.  Couldn't go in and nap on my mat so I decided to nap in the old minivan.  Wondered if people walking by thought I was homeless or too much tequila last night.  Didn't really care cause I was stinkin beat.  Awoke to a car door slamming next to me.  Oh crap.....I better get my rear in gear and get in the studio before I am stuck in the front row with my grounded crow pose.  Walked in.....awesome.....cozy window spot in back row still open.  Staked my spot.....went to change....then buenos noches.  Awoke when to music cut off to start class.  Crap again.....I could be sleeping in my bed instead I am about to subject my body to pretzel like positions for 75 minutes......why I ask......because I have become a YOGAHOLIC!  Had a great practice and left totally recharged......and also got a good parking lot and mat nap in.  Got home and totally couldn't sleep.  Finally went to sleep at 1pm to be awakened at 4pm by my wonderful offspring.  Hmmmm.....bickering, fighting.   I think I need to go for a run.  Ran 3 miles....bliss.  Came home and hubby wanted to go to Chick-fil-a.  Okay I am a weak woman.  I knew I was starting a 3 day fruit fast tomorrow so I said what the hey......I GOT A CHICK-FIL-A sandwich and brace yourselves.....a large diet coke.  I know.....but I skipped the waffle fries!  I came home a had a ranch rice cake binge.  Okay yes I felt guilt and remorse but it was stinkin good and I will pay for it the next three days with my fruit fast.

Day 18-Bikram

Seriously.....a speedo?

Day 18-Thursday October 7,2010

Began my day at 5:30am meeting my friend Tonya for spinning class.  Needed a little friend time and if I had to get up at 5:30am and pedal a bike to nowhere for an hour so be it.  Got to catch up a little bit between jumps and sprints.  The room actually seemed cool to me and I didn't sweat near as much as I used to.  Kinda felt cheated to work out for an hour and not be wringing with sweat.  A friend sent me a web site link where you could go for a free week of yoga so I decided to try Bikram since it was so close to me.  Off I went to the 8:30 class.  Walked in and the reception area seemed like a spa or salon.  They seemed very nice and I actually saw minivans in the parking lot.  They showed me where the studio was and I walked in.  First thing I noticed was a big stage and it had a machine on it blowing steam into the air.  Hello frizzy ball hair.  The temperature in the studio was super hot....like 100 degrees.  Very uncomfortable.  I am used to a studio that is about 90-93 degrees.  Kinda felt like hell.  Also the studio was carpeted.  How are they gonna mop up my sweat funk?  Next thing I noticed was alot of the people had on very little clothes.  Like jog bra and tight bikini bottom lookin hot pants.   Okay......I WILL NEVER EVER DRESS LIKE THAT for yoga.  Don't they know I have had multiple children?!?  I was a little alarmed that I didn't know the secret handshake and was supposed to put my mat in a certain spot.  The instructor already figured out who I was and she new my name.  They must be forewarned to watch the newbies and make sure they don't wind up passed out on the floor or wind up in a fetal ball crying "Uncle".  Class started major weird. Thought Baptiste breathing was weird....he has nothing on Bikram.  They did some hold your hands under your chin and flap your elbows like a bird breathing.  It was all I could do not to laugh.  Class was okay. Yoga seemed a little chopping.  I am used to the nice flow of Baptiste.  I can't believe I got through class without one down dog.  At the end they end they did some pant like a dog shake your belly cleansing breathing.  Soooooo funny.  I WILL NEVER DO THAT EITHER!  After class they gave me a nice iced raspberry tea and the instructor was very complimentary and invited me back.  Not sure about that.  At least I didn't have to ommmm but I found Bikram to be very pretzel like and not one block to help with the postures.   I will say they have a stinkin nice dressing room though and showers!!!!!

Day 17-Calmness

My mom and Barron Baptiste

Day 17-Wen. October 6, 2010

Got up realizing I was behind in every aspect of my life.  Decided oh well....gotta go to yoga class.  Those of you who know me know that is not like me to leave stuff undone.  Somehow it really didn't matter that the laundry was backed up and the dishes were piled high....I had to get my yoga in.  

I think we are relocating our closets to the living room.

Did my meditation/prayer time then headed off to yoga.  Still not one minivan in the parking lot.  It is almost like I leave my suburban world to the downtown Montrose yoga world.  Had a young guy right next to me and my competitive gene fired.....why does a 42 year old mom think she can keep up with a 20 something guy.....especially dumb side plank pose that I can't seem to do without modifications.  I am feeling very at ease with being so close to people now.  Everyone in very focused and truly not paying attention to you.  Everyone is just trying to stay on their own mat and not crash into each other.  Still don't like ommmmmming and breathing weird but it is growing on me.  Actually called today to a local studio who is doing a basics workshop on Saturday.  Not a heated studio so we shall see.  I am lovin the heated studio now.  My friend Angie has renamed it "Sweaty Yoga."

Day 16-Chaos

My son and my mom can do this stupid crow pose that I can't even get airborne on!

Day 16-October 5, 2010-Tuesday

Found meditation and class very hard today.  Yogis say how you are in your life shows up on your mat.  That being said......apparently I am very scattered and off balance right now.  Watched my instructor show us how to leap into crow pose....and tried not to run out of the studio in fear.  Didn't think it was wise to try that after a chaotic night of codes, admissions, and patients going to surgery.  Talked with a teacher training place today and it made me very excited.  After 20 years of nursing would really like to try something new.  If it makes me look like my mother I am totally down with it.  Tonight was our 40 days meeting night too.  Glad to hear that others are struggling with diet and meditation too.  Have no problem getting the yoga in, but the others are becoming hard.  Still haven't had meat.  Bought a ham flavored meat at the store today.....kinda looked like Alpo.

Spent alot of time talking about the upcoming fruit fast.  We get to eat only fresh fruit for 3 days.  Can't wait....not.  Supposed to cleanse our body of toxins.  Plan on starting Saturday since I am off for three days and can be close to the bathroom.  Bought a copy of the Yoga Journal for my bathroom reading. Definitely feel myself changing into a more aware person. 

Day 15-Exhaustion

My mom sent me some of her classes.  She is my hero.  

Monday October 4th, 2010-Day 15

Started the week at work last night watching my patient die.  I got extremely close to this family because that was my story 3 years ago with my father.  I can see how my life experiences aided in helping this family go through the process of saying goodbye.  It always fascinates my watching what happens to the human body as this life ends.  Kinda morbid I know.  Had planned to go to the studio after work but was so drained I came straight home and went straight to my meditation stop to process the night and talk it out with God.  Then hit the hay for about 5 hours of recharging.  Got up and Ram offered to do yoga with me. Don't know why I don't like to do yoga by myself.  Started the heater and did my meditation/prayer.  Then my hubby and I did an hour podcast yoga class.  Good workout, but still work harder in the studio.....I think it is due to peer pressure and I am slightly competitive and am always trying to be one of the better ones in class which is hugely frustrating since my body won't bend the way I want it too.  I am now totally preoccupied with yoga now.  I spend all my time doing it , studying it, and surfing web sites.  After 20 years as a nurse, I am more frustrated than ever with what people do to themselves.....heart disease, obesity, smoking, ods.  Since I have started doing adult ICU over the last 16 months I am astounded at what people do to themselves.  I really want to help people stay well and improve their life....that is why am now so fixated on yoga.  Always wanted to be an athlete, personal trainer, fitness guru.  I hope I am on that journey now.  I have a long way to go in my own fitness and diet but am excited to think that I could spend my days helping people stay well not pick of the pieces after the fact.  Our society is rewarding poor life choices....ie disability.  Time to reframe our thinking.  End diatribe.

Day 14-Sabbath Day

I

I wore my yogi shirt to church.....is there a separation of yogidom and religion?

Day 14-October 3rd, 2010

Okay I have made it two weeks on my journey and I can say that I think I am turning into a yogi.  Yoga is always on my mind now.  I plan my day on when I can get to the yoga studio.  I am still fantasizing about having my own studio and I have quite marathon training.  Yoga is actually more of a challenge to me than 26.2.  My 42 year body just doesn't bend the way it used to and I have to work much harder to get my body to respond than I do running.  Today at church was the first time ever that I raised my hands over my head in worship.....weird yoga is what is driving me closer to the Creator.  Since it was my rest day.....I did exactly that.  I awoke from my Sunday afternoon siesta with a nap hangover.  The weather was glorious so I zipped through meditation/quite time and decided to see how a run felt.  After 2 miles I decided I really didn't want to be doing this and just took a relaxing walk and enjoyed to weather.  I am so not a walker type of person and I am starting to wonder who is taking over my body.  Since it has been two week I thought I would do an assessment of my journey thus far:

Top 10 Things I like about Yogidom

1.  How I feel in savasana (aka.....thank God class is over pose)

2. No children in the studio

3. I have lost 9 pounds

4. I am calmer (don't ask my son though)

5. I feel better than I have in a long time

6. My skin is shiner

7.  Cool Indian music

8. Smell of incense

9.Meeting people who are very different from me

10.My new yoga mat

Top 10 Things I dislike about Yogidom

1. Ommmmmmmmmmmm

2.  Weird breathing

3. Having to shave my armpits daily

4. Sweat funk smell

5.Long drive to the studio

6. Crowded classes

7. No Chick-fil-a

8. Dumb side plank pose

9. People who bring their cell phone into the classroom

10. No one drives a minivan at the studio!!!!!!!

Day 13-Stage Fright

Starting to resemble a pack mule heading to work these days.

Saturday-October 2, 2010

Left work exhausted.  So tempted to go home and crash, but knew I needed my fellow yogis to get a good workout in.  Actually went to tell the girl I was giving report to that we needed to get going cause I had a yoga class to get to.....nice I know.  Hit warped speed on the the way to class so I could get a spot. Had to stop for gas and once again got it on my foot.  Peachy.....not only do my feet smell like I have been up for 16 hours, now they have gas fumes on them.  If I ever open my own studio a foot defunking station is a must.  Texted my husband that I was on my way to yoga (yes, I confess I was driving when I did this) and he text back he was too.  I was so happy.....now I would have someone to grunt with that I knew well.  Got to the studio, changed, scrubbed my feet and went into the sauna room.  Looked around and there was my beloved husband......in the front row......and had saved me a spot right next to him.  FRONT ROW......is he nuts?  Almost ran for the door, but he seemed very relaxed so I joined him.  Apparently people knew my feet stunk so no other takers for the front row.  I have to admit it was nice not to have people's rears or feet in my face but the front is for people who know what they are doing.  Did the class okay.  Attempted my first crow.....I think I got up in the pose for like a second.  I still want to know how you do that weird sleestack breathing when your nose is stopped up.  I tried to do it, but was fearful I would blow snot everywhere.  Did my meditation/prayer/quite time both times today.  Got to sleep and every got to squeeze in a quite dinner with the hubby.  Had a glass of wine and by an hour later had a severe headache......confession......I attempted to cure my headache with a Rt 44 Diet Coke.  It helped.  Tomorrow is a new day.  My name is Jill Tackett.....and I am a Diet Coke addict.  They say admitting you have a problem is the first step.  

Day 12-Not with the program today

The yoga "care package" from my mommy, Jan Atkins, owner of Fish Tree Yoga in Pensacola.

Day 12-October 1, 2010

Received a package from my wonderful tofu eating yogi mom yesterday.  See ya slip-n-slide mat of my daughters.  I am a stylin yogi now.  I even got some of her yogi-me-downs so now I can sweat next to perfect body girl and at least match.  Got home from work today and was totally exhausted.  Made a bee line for my bed.  My husband...."aren't you gonna meditate?"  Me.......grunt, sneer, close the bedroom door.  I am sure he was thinking lovely.  Got horizontal and didn't move for the next 5 hours.  Awoke finally and had sheet wrinkles on my face.  Put on my new yoga togs and headed up to heat the mancave and meditate.  Burned my finger while lighting the candle....great start.  Got still, calm and was zipping through my meditation and was 2/3 done when the light flicked on.  Freaked me out.  Called for my hubby, but he was at lunch with his company.  Opened the door and there stood our little dog Thor looking at me.  Naw he can't reach the light.  Apparently didn't get the switch flicked all the way down and it turned itself on.  Crap....I have to start over again.  Really hard to focus now.  Finished up and started my yoga on my new super nice Jade mat.  For some reason I thought changing mats would magically make me stronger.  Struggled through the whole practice. Tried side plank without the modification and crashed and burned.  How can I lift 400 lb people at work and not lift myself.  Oh wait, I have help.  My tree pose which is usually one of my better poses kinda resembled a tropical storm flailing all over.  Maybe my body was rebelling that is was not gonna get a Coke Zero today or maybe I should have gone to the studio this morning.  I do much better at home with my husband practicing with me.  I am realizing that I do not like to work out alone and need people around to energize me.  I guess that is why I have had a gym membership since I was 15 and almost always had a running buddy to train with for marathons.  I like community.  So tomorrow morning after work I will trot my happy hiney in my new matching clothes down to the studio to sweat with the yogis.